Worked on the game theory portion of my dissertation for thirty minutes today, and came up with some interesting ideas for the actual experiment portion of the project. I think I'm making progress slowly but surely.
I spent $12 today. I would have spent $3.50 but a friend wanted to have dinner at Al's, and I haven't seen him in a good while. My goal tomorrow is not to spend money on meals. I have plenty here to eat on and just need to get it prepared before I head to school.
Tonight at Wesley we talked about hypocrisy, and why we as Christians don't want to let down our armor and show who we really are. I think the truth is that we want to meet that ideal of being Christlike, but when we aren't, it's easier to hide that part of ourselves from others for fear of rejection. I also think that sometimes having an image of ourselves as better than we are is easier than the process of slowly getting where we want to be as believers. The real path we walk is a fine line between pushing ourselves to be better and being gracious to ourselves when we fall. I don't think God expects us to be absolutely perfect, but I do think we should make being Christ-like our full time goal without destroying ourselves when we fall short. If failure leads us to give up on working towards who we believe we can be, then we sell ourselves short. Our walk has to become one of both patience and determination, where we don't expect perfect results all at once, but maintain the hope that every day we wake up we can keep moving forward, enjoying the little successes we experience and learning from the failures we deal with without dwelling.We have to accept that failure is inevitable, but is not an excuse for abandoning our journey. Its a process, and there is no absolute shortcut to get where we want to go.
Be gracious to others as well as yourself while remembering that life is a marathon, not a sprint, and we never know who someone will be tomorrow for good or for ill. The person we judge today could be the most important person in our lives tomorrow. The things we struggle with today may seem like just another patch in the road in a week. If we define ourselves by a single action, by what has happened in the past, we limit who we can be tomorrow. We limit who we allow others to be tomorrow. We put boundaries on what is possible when we know absolutely nothing about the future and how things might change if we simply move forward with hope and humility.
Just a few thoughts, and with that, a good night to all.
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