Lenten Commitments

I didn't really make any noticeable New Years resolutions in January. it's not that there aren't things I need to work on, I just wasn't focused on any of them. I've been thinking a lot this year though about focus. It has never been a strong suit of mine no matter what I do. Frankly, I've just always been good enough or lucky enough to get by, but that isn't satisfying anymore. I want to excel. I want to see just how good I can be at a few things and latch onto doing my absolute best at them. my friend Chris (and a few others) pointed out that I go through stretches of interest in things then just move on, which isn't a bad thing, but it does keep me from being really awesome at something. I want to make my mark, like a friend of mine from high school, Nathan.

Nathan is into turtles. Really, really into turtles. Since middle school, virtually all of his working effort has gone into getting where he is today, finishing graduate studies as a marine biologist to become the turtle expert. I heard an interview of him with NPR today, and I thought about how incredible it is that Nathan took a dream, as simple as it was, and has turned it into a way to make his mark in the world. It got me motivated, just a little bit. So I decided that starting in Lent, I'm going to pick five things and spend the rest of the year committing to them. The forty days is a test run, and I hope my friends will keep me encouraged and accountable to hold to them.

1) I will work on my dissertation topic every day, for at least thirty minutes, and for at least an hour once a week. I have an idea, but I need to hone it and develop some serious goals to get it started. I'm looking at social perceptions of self and other, specifically how we compare our own needs and value to that of others, and how this effects either healthy or destructive social behaviors. I need to make this idea clear and start becoming an expert on everything there is to know about the subject. Then I need to start working on making a real contribution that can help people. I think it's a good subject, I've always been interested in how we perceive ourselves and how it either helps or hurts ourselves and our communities/relationships. But I need to work on it hard and joyfully.

2) I will run three times a week. This has nothing to do with the task itself. The point is not to become an awesome runner or super fit. The point is to commit to doing something for the sake of self-improvement long term, and hold myself accountable to sticking to it even when I don't feel like it. The big reason I picked running in particular is because my Sunday School class are really into it, so I think I have a good support group built in to hold me to it.

3) I will spend less to entertain myself, and do more to find enjoyment in things that are free. This one is really hard for me. I love being lazy, and am easily distracted by anything. I also hate being bored, and usually fix that with blind, dumb, American entertainment. which usually costs money. Part of this I think involves doing things with people other than going out places. It's all well and good, but sometimes it just feels like I'm spending money to go out and see people. More hanging out, less buying stuff to do it.

4) I am going to practice positivity. This one sounds cliche, but I am well practiced in negativity, and it has never helped me. I can be really cynical in the name of healthy skepticism, but I have yet to encounter a situation where it has made my life better or been a benefit to the people around me. This one is going to be hard, because my main defense for doing something I don't feel like doing is to naysay it, but I've noticed that people who find the best in situations tend to get the best out of themselves and others.

5) I am going to love people actively. I do this sometimes, but a most of the time I just say whatever sounds clever without thinking about how it affects people. What I think is funny sarcasm is actually damaging to others and my relationship with them. This one is going to be really hard I think, but I am going to make the best effort I can to practice the art of encouraging others whenever I have the opportunity.

So that's it. I feel like these are all a tall order and just filling them could take up every waking hour of every day, but starting next Wednesday, this is my plan. To really specify them down, here are my simple goals.

1) Work on my academic career outside of what is required for the immediate future thirty minutes a day or more.

2) Run for thirty minutes three times a week

3) Spend less money this month on myself than I did last month

4) Find at least one positive thing in every situation I encounter, especially if I find something negative to say.

5) Be kind and encouraging to each person I talk to every day.