It's been over a year since the last time I posted here at Rants, Raves, and Ramblings. I've flirted with another blog on the learning process as I've started working with the R statistical programming language. If that sounds boring to you, then congratulations, you are a healthy human being.
I'm revisiting this blog because I've recently been experiencing a "reawakening" of my deeper spiritual self. There has been a lot of good and a lot of bad in the last year, but I haven't been as committed to pursuing a deeper, more fully realized faith as I could have been. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it simply is was it is. Sometimes we go through seasons where we make little forward progress because there are simply other things we need to work on, and I do feel like a much more mature person now than I did a year ago.
That said, I've got some work to do on the spiritual end of things, particularly in the realm of "calling". n the past I've been hesitant about the idea of "calling" because I don't necessarily believe there is any single thing that we are supposed to do. However, I believe the idea of calling is much wider and deeper than an occupation. Calling affects how we pursue our occupation, the purpose we put ourselves towards in every facet of our daily lives, and the means we are willing to use to achieve an end.
I'm shamed to say that, as a graduate student, I have found it too easy to succumb to a very functional way of doing my daily business. The academic world is full of the "publish or perish" attitude, which suggests that our first priority should be to get as much material into scholarly journals as we can, regardless of the cost to ourselves or our relationships. It gets very competitive, and it doesn't necessarily have to be. I'm learning from colleagues every day that we are better together 90 percent of the time, and that when everyone cares more about goals than themselves, really great things come of it. Part of bringing a Christian ethic to my work is to remember that every one's needs are as important as mine, and in the end it's not about beating others to the punch, but rather making sure we all get where we need to go with our dignity intact.
The other major issue in my professional life is that of my research. I've long seen my faith as having no place in my research, and for many people that may be the case. However, the whole reason I became interested in sociology (my field) was because I was deeply affected my social injustices I was exposed to as a youth director and in the mission field. I had the desire but not the gifts to be a "foot-soldier" against injustices, but I am gifted with some talent and passion for intellectual pursuits. As I've made my way through graduate school, I've gotten more honed at using my intellect for research purposes, but have done a great job of bringing my new skills to a place where it can meet my faith. When my adviser took a position at another school this summer, I was confronted with the fact that I might have to rethink my dissertation research. This was, of course, absolutely terrifying, but as I told one professor last week, that fear has started to feel a lot like opportunity.
One thing I'm considering doing for my dissertation research (in addition to some of the research I've already done) is studying the lives of southern ministers and how their position in the church impacts their personal well-being. I think this has the potential to be a great study, both in terms of scholarship and in terms of shedding a light on the issues that church leaders have to deal with as they try to make a difference in the world. One thing I know lots of people have experienced (myself included) is a tension between what we believe to be our purpose and the expectations of the people we serve. It's something that keeps people awake at night. The reasons people go into the ministry and the message they feel convicted to deliver is not always well received, and sometimes downright incompatible with what congregations want to hear. I'm curious as to what happens to ministers who alter their discourse to avoid conflict compared to those who are too convicted or just too stubborn to compromise. I can see how both situations would cause a great deal of mental distress (not just for ministers, but also their families), and I think a sociological analysis of the roles, expectations, and mental health of clergy (especially mainline clergy, who are part of a larger hierarchy), would be both interesting and give a humanistic perspective of individuals who are often cast in a larger than life image that is incredibly difficult to live up to. I have no idea what my findings would actually be, but I think this study idea could contribute to a great dialogue about the ways spiritual leaders interact with their communities.
Anyways, this is a very length introduction to the kinds of things going on in my head these days, and I hope to explore all of the above in greater detail over the next few months. Just wanted to get it all down and out there so I can get some feedback and keep myself motivated.
Peace
Phil
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